Consider the Wildflowers

I am so excited to introduce a guest writer to the blog today–my friend Rita Bliven! For those who don’t know, I am publishing a book this year through a publishing company called United House Publishing. This has been a year long process, and through it, I have been able to connect with many author friends via social media and blogging. When Rita reached out and asked if we could write on each other’s blogs, I was so excited! Today, Rita writes about her upcoming book as well as a little bit about herself. At the bottom of this post, you can find her author bio and a link to her blog. I encourage you to check out her writing and to grab a copy of her book when it comes out! Enjoy!

Imagine finding yourself in a new country, surrounded by people who do not speak your language, and in a family you do not know. For some this might sound like a horror movie but this was very much my reality.

When I was a baby my father, a Mexican immigrant, feared he would not have any custody rights against my mother, an American citizen. Out of fear, my father took me to Mexico which separated me from my mother and her side of the family. Over the next two years I learned Spanish as my first language and bonded with my father and his huge family.

Then when I was three years old my mother got me back. Also out of fear, my mother moved back to her hometown in Western Pennsylvania with me, severed all ties with my father and his side of the family, and changed my name so that my father could never find me again.

My earliest memories are of learning English and feeling out of place. These traumatic separations caused me to develop an extreme avoidant attachment style or disorder. I struggled to feel or receive love, trust others, have a sense of self or purpose, and feared intimacy. Because I lacked a strong foundation of secure love, I also suffered from depression and anxiety. 

But God.

My story may sound unique but many children of the foster care system or adoption can relate. Abuse, neglect, or traumatic separation can disrupt the bonding of a child and at least one primary caregiver. If this formative bond is not made it affects almost every area of the child’s life. 

In the past usually only those with a severe childhood would develop an attachment problem. Today, estimates suggest that ⅔ of adults living in the West now have some sort of attachment issue. The breakdown of the nuclear family, widespread divorce, and untreated mental illness in families are some of the factors causing the normalization of unhealthy attachment. Chances are, if you do not personally have an attachment issue, someone you love does. 

For this reason, I am exceedingly grateful to Taylor for sharing her platform with me today. My hope is to spread awareness and inspire others to explore their own attachment styles and embark on their personal inner healing journey.  I am living proof that healing is possible!

Author Bio:

My name is Rita Bliven. I have written Canyons & Fireworks which details my lifelong journey of healing from a debilitating avoidant attachment style. From this place of healing and love I have been able to enjoy the abundant life of the Bible. In Canyons & Fireworks, I am honest about the cause, confusion, victories, setbacks, and the full process of healing. My hope is that by sharing my story, others will identify and tear down the walls that block love so that true intimacy, identity, and purpose can flourish. 

My book is in the editing process and will most likely be available later in 2024. The easiest way to stay up-to-date about my book is to visit Canyonsandfireworks.com which also has links to my blog and social media pages.